Time to come clean.

Hi everyone! Yes, I know that it's been plenty well over a year since I updated this thing and that is incredibly lame on my part. There have been a lot of factors contributing to why I haven't been posting. The relative ease of Facebook, my busy schedule and my lack of super exciting/interesting things to share all share the blame.

Lately though, there's been a pretty serious reason why I haven't really been reaching out on the interwebs or on the phone to most of you. I haven't really told anyone about this except for my Dad because it's a pretty easy thing to keep hidden when you live thousands of miles away from your friends and your co-workers aren't 100% fluent in English. The past couple of months I've been dealing with a really heavy run of depression. Part of it was can certainly be blamed on the holidays and the shift in seasons to the long and cold nights of winter. I've missed my friends this year, especially after spending just two short weeks @ home, and it's hard to stay cheery when all you care about is getting from point A to point B without slipping on your ass. The holidays were extra hard this year since I only got two phone calls on Christmas day and three cards in the mail. I know it sounds selfish and immature; I'm even berating myself as I type it, but I've been feeling like I'm forgotten by a lot of my friends and even my family. I know it's also partly my fault because I haven't reached out either, but I can't find the energy to do it when my self-esteem is pretty low and I feel like I'm better left as the castaway.

I usually pride myself on being optimistic and letting things roll off my shoulders, but this year it has been really hard to stay positive. I feel like my life is in stand still. Everyone back home is moving, getting married, having children or finishing grad school and I'm living a pretty solitary life without many people to talk to. Thoughts have even come into my head about how few people would even notice if I were gone or would even come to my funeral. Trust me, it's just as scary for me to be typing this as it is for you to be reading it. I never thought I could go to a place where I contemplated what it would be like if my life were cut short, but I've gone there and to be honest it didn't look so bad.

I'm not looking for a pity party and the last thing I want is to guilt trip anyone. I got a pretty rude awakening today about myself and I just wanted to get this all out there and try to find a way to make myself better. I don't want to be the controlling, nitpicking, overly-expectant person that I tend to come off as. I want to find that person who isn't so worried about her future that she forgets to enjoy the present and realize that she's been given a pretty awesome gift of living and working abroad. We each have our own path to take and it's time that I start appreciating mine for what it's worth. The problem is finding the inspiration to actually do that. I've been through a lot in my life, but today was the first time someone actually made me cry with their brutal honesty about how I behave. It's hard having a laundry list of your flaws read to you, but I think I needed it.

Sorry this has gone so dark and I'm sorry for dropping off and not putting out as much effort as I expect from other people. My resolution this year is to change. To smile more. To go with the flow. To accept that life doesn't function according to any plans I make or any schedules I try to keep. Life is something to be lived in every moment!

Hello 2010!!!

It's hard to believe that the new year has begun. It's even harder to believe that it has been so flippin' long since I have updated this thing. For that, I sincerely apologize. Every weekend I make a commitment to myself to finally put my thoughts down and share the events from the past few months. I even go so far as to open my home page and think of a creative title for my post. And then I blank. Literally. I have no words and even the pictures I've taken the past several months give me no inspiration to share my story. Even through the holidays when my homesickness was at an all-time high and my desire to reconnect was overwhelming, I couldn't bring myself to write. But, on New Year's Eve, I made a pact with my adult class to help each other get through our New Year's resolutions that we shared with each other. "Blogging more consistently" may have been last on my list, but that didn't make it any less important than my hope to work out more and finally start my novel. So here I am, finally catching up on the craziness in my life since October.

First, I'll begin with work stuff since that obviously takes up most of my time. I finally turned a corner in my teaching technique after getting some feed back from my co-workers and I think it has really helped me and the kids improve with our new units. They respond so much better with the new activities I've incorporated in the class and even my middle schoolers are starting to speak up and utilize the material. It's so rewarding to go through the incredibly painful experience of oral test week and see an improvement across the board with my kids. It's only made my passion for teaching that much stronger. In other, work-related news, Kelly (one of the Korean teachers) got married in November and is expecting a baby just a few short days before I am due to come back home. I am so excited for her and I hope her little one comes before I have to leave! We also hired a new Korean teacher to help out since Kelly will be leaving to move back to Seoul with her husband and we seem to be bringing on more kids than we can handle! Her name is Kim Bo Mi and she's a little on the quiet side. She's a year younger than me, so I'm finally no longer the baby at work anymore. I'm hoping to crack her shell a little bit so we can become as close friends as I am with the rest of the girls at work.

Which leads me to the social life section of my update. I have made friends! Real friends! Who I hang out with and go to the movies and go shopping! I know it seems silly that I am so excited, but trust me this has been a huge help with my transition. My other co-worker, Sarah, has been such a huge help with sending my packages home, opening a bank account and buying my cell phone (which gets TV - booyah!) She even gifted me with some of her furniture when she moved out of her apartment last month. Hyeon Hee (or Angelina as we jokingly call her) has also gone above and beyond what I could have expected from my Korean friends. See, she doesn't speak English and I obviously don't speak Korean. Our inability to communicate was so frustrating for the both of us because we could tell that we would be really great friends if only we could get past our language barrier. So, we have taken up studying together and it's gone pretty well. I'm still struggling a bit with remembering each sound Hangul characters make, but I have gotten to the point where I can actually sound out words even if I don't know what they mean yet. In addition to my friendships with the girls at work, I have an incredible adult class that loves to go out on the weekend and unwind a little. I think it helps them practice their social English outside of our discussion topics. Plus, we all get to enjoy good food, drinks and a lot of laughs. One student in particular has become a good friend of mine. She took me to my first movie here in Korea and then my second (BTW Avatar was AMAZING!). Unfortunately, she'll be returning to Seoul to finish up her last semester of university before beginning the job hunt. At least this will give me an excuse to get out of the province and go visit her. Hopefully, once the weather turns nice, there will be plenty more adventures for me to share with you. It's been bitterly cold this winter with quite a few dustings of snow already. I know most of you have gone through worse, but for this California girl, it's been pretty rough! I have also made a few new fellow foreigner friends while out and about. Apparently the gym is just as good of a place to meet people here as it is back home! We've all been busy with our holiday plans, so hopefully we'll get to hang out soon.

Now onto the adventures I have had as of late. In October, our work went on a day trip to the beach which included a great deal of booze and food. Those of you who understand my culinary tastes would be so proud of me and my adventurous taste buds. Not only did I have a meal consisting only of seafood, I even went so far as to eat raw fish! I didn't go all the way and join in with the feasting on sea-slugs, but I did enjoy the local fair caught fresh that morning. I made a little video of all of my pictures from the trip, including two from the main shopping district in Daejeon. (Here is the YouTube version if the video doesn't work)

I also made my first trip to Seoul in October. Our first day was spent walking through the Olympic Park and then onto Lotte World (the Korean version of Disneyland). We happened to be there on United Nations Day and they had a beautiful display in front ofGyeongbokgung Palace. It was so beautiful to see how much our American forces (combined with those from the UN) have impacted the Korean people and how grateful they are for our help in their fight for freedom from oppressive rule. We also got a chance to watch some incredible live performances inside the palace as well before rushing back to the train station to catch our ride back home to Nonsan.

One Month Down... Eleven More to Go

Happy October everyone!!!

I don't know if everyone else is as surprised as I am that fall is already here and the leaves are starting to change color. We even had a cold, windy and rainy storm last night that brought me back to my wonderful years in the PNW. Unfortunately there isn't much to update everyone on in terms of any trips that I have taken over the past couple of weeks as I am waiting to receive my first full paycheck tomorrow :D But there are a few minor normal life details that I thought you all might appreciate.

The first was my experience with paying September's bills. I don't have a bank account yet, but it's proving to be unnecessary as any banking service can be done at any bank regardless of whether or not you have an account there. While this may seem bizarre to those of us operating on the US financial system, there are a few things that I should explain first about the way the banking system works in Korea. First, there are no such things as personal checks. Only banks may write checks and even then it happens on a blue moon. Second, debit cards may not be used for making purchases, only for withdrawing cash from ATMs. Third, all credit card transactions are run on electronic signature which ensures more security than simply signing a piece of paper to be filed later. This leaves Korea with a mainly cash economy. So in order to pay one's bills, one must go to the bank and pay in cash there. It was quite a strange experience to walk into a bank, hand over my statements for my utilities and internet and then simply have them stamped as proof that I paid them. Even better, my transaction took less than five minutes including my wait time to be helped. If only my days at BofA went that smoothly.

My next normal life tidbit involves my cooking situation. So I have literally gone about a month without figuring out how the stove-top in my kitchen worked and I had given up all hope until my co-worker carefully explained to me the several step process to get a flame going. So then I decided to make a grilled vegetable medley and headed off to the grocery store. From now on I will only refer to zucchini by it's Korean English name of "green pumpkin," and I will never forget how cheap cauliflower is back home. Also, can we please talk about how amazing seedless grapes are? I don't know if I just grabbed the wrong batch seeing as how I can't read any of the signs, but it is a pain in the --- to pick the seeds out while you're trying to enjoy a delicious grape.

This past weekend was the Korean version of Thanksgiving called Chuseok and I had the pleasure of enjoying a three day weekend to catch up on all of my American TV shows. Some have really impressed me so far this season (House, Grey's, Fringe and Flash Forward) while other's have really left me feeling unsatisfied (One Tree Hill, Mercy, Trauma). But we do have the season premiere of Ugly Betty in two weeks and LOST's final season is looming on the horizon. So, for the holiday season apparently the thing to do is to give everybody food. I got several pieces of candy from my kids, a coffee and apple juice from my co-workers and a MASSIVE box of pears from my boss that I then got to carry home all by my lonesome. Originally I thought the box was full of several normal sized pears, but I was horribly mistaken.

How am I ever going to finish these?!?! It's a crisis like this that makes me miss my hetero life partner who I know would happily take a few of these off of my hands.

PS: I found a stationary store in downtown Nonsan that may be a little disorganized, but I was completely content to spend almost an hour sifting through all of their awesome stuff. I'm starting to think that I need a boyfriend... :(

Gwanchok-sa Temple

Hello hello!

First, I must apologize for the delay in posting about my recent adventures here in Nonsan, but really there wasn't much to post about lol Work is in full swing and the kids are keeping me busy and always delighting me with their new and inventive ways of butchering the English language. Not that I can hate on them, since I'm pretty sure I still butcher my native tongue (not to mention my four years at attempting Spanish). So the first big piece of news is that I finally have my phone set up here in Korea which means talking over the phone is free for both you and me :D My Skype situation has improved, but my microphone is not as powerful as I would like, so until I get paid next month, if you would like to get in touch with me, just call (916) 475-0171. Just, please remember that I am 16 hours ahead of you west coasters and 13 hours for you east coasters.

Onto the good stuff. So last week I had to make my way down to the Ministry of Justice's Immigration Office in Daejon to register myself as a legal alien in Korea. The drive through the National Park took about an hour and was absolutely stunning. I am of course kicking myself because I didn't take my camera with me so I could show you guys the beautiful scenery. But never fear, I am sure to be returning to the city since there is a Costco adjacent to the trainstation. Yeah, that's right... a COSTCO! How is it possible that the entire Portland metro area is only serviced by one Costco and yet I can find one here in Korea without any problem? Someone in corporate needs a talking to... The best part about this entire trip was that from the instant I walked into the main lobby I could have sworn I had been transported to a DMV office back home, complete with uncomfortable chairs and a number ticker next to the TV. The whole process took less than five minutes (after the 20 minute wait, of course) and I just recieved my Alien Registration Card yesterday.

Yay! I am legal! lol But beyond my short visit to Daejon last Tuesday, nothing much happened during my week other than the boys in my middle school class once again misbehaved and this time I had to have Mr. Kim come in and talk some sense into their pre-pubescent brains. It was bad enough that he had to ask me to leave the room while he went into a lecture that I'm pretty sure I'm glad I couldn't understand thanks to my propensity to experience second-hand embarassment. To make matters worse, the other native speaker had to call Mr. Kim in to discipline the kids for using the f-bomb in class; not just to each other, but to him as well. *le sigh* At least they were better behaved this week for me.

Onto the weekend! So I've been searching for something to do that doesn't require leaving the city and/or costing too much as I won't be seeing a paycheck for another two weeks. Luckily, there is a site nearby called Gwanchok-sa which is home to the tallest freestanding statue of Buddha in the entire country. I knew from reading my guide book that it would be a little bit of a hike, but I didn't realize that my body would still be recovering three days later!

The main entrance leading up to the temple grounds.

Yet another gate to pass through to get up to the main property.

These guys were huge! And hella scary since it was dark as I passed through the gate and didn't know they were there.

This was the first temple upon climbing the main flight of stairs up to the grounds. From what I could gather, they were getting the place ready for a big party. Buddha's b-day perhaps?

A view inside one of the smaller temples.

Here is the mighty statue itself. The picture really doesn't do it justice. But to put it in perspective, the ear's are as long as an average man is tall.

A view of the grounds from Buddha's perspective.

This used to be the main entrance to the temple.

Okay, so story time. After you buy your ticket there are two paths of stairs to choose from. I of course took the main staircase up to the temple grounds first, but then temptation got the better of me and I decided to see where the other set led to. 300 steps later and I finally got to the top of the hill/mountain only to be greeted by these semi-creepy carvings. What a great reward, right?

Strawberry fields! Come April I am going to be a very happy girl :D

Burial mounds. There were some reall pretty birds flying around in the background, but I couldn't quite capture them on film.

IDK what this is, but I thought it was kinda neat, especially with the turtle statue that reminded me of Scorpio. I'll have to inquire from my co-workers as to the translation.